A truth the world is afraid of.

Strength.

People too often consider strength to be that thing that lets you hide how you feel in times of trouble. The thing that holds back tears when you should be a mess on the floor.

“Oh, she’s so strong. Her parents are getting a divorce but every day she shows up at school and smiles and holds her friends up when they go through rough break ups. I dunno how she does it.” Yeah, that’s real strength there (Sarcasm)

 No, that’s not strength. That’s self denial.

“He never cries. Even when he found out his best friend was in the bus accident and died, he didn’t cry. And not at the funeral either.” (You: That’s a bit extreme) (Yeah well I’m trying to make a point.)

Since when were tears a *bleep*ing weakness?

(You: Oh, ok. So what do You say strength is then, hm?)

Strength is being able to cry, being able to deal with your pain, and not letting it eat you. Strength is letting yourself heal. Strength is not caring if everyone else sees you an emotional mess.

Strength is knowing who you are, knowing what you feel, and dealing with it. Hiding behind humanity’s definition of strength is the definition of weakness.

Strength is knowing you’re falling, not knowing how far you’ll fall, but being ok with it nonetheless.

Falling, yet trying to hold on to whatever you can to keep yourself safe, is Not strength.

I mean really, emotions are pretty dang hard to express sometimes. We all know that. It’s hard to love someone when they’ve wronged you. It’s hard to cry when the rest of the room is laughing. It’s hard to laugh when no one else joins in. We automatically feel judged and hated, like as if the entire world is glaring at you asking “How dare you not feel how we feel?”

Surrendering to that judgment is basically the socially acceptable form of cutting yourself.

You shouldn’t be fitting yourself into that little crib in the back of your head where you’re safe. Do little kids care if someone sees them crying? No. They only start caring when people tell them to grow up, when other kids start teasing them. When their parents tell them to grow a pair and quit being a baby.

If we were meant to be turtles, we’d all come with shells.

And I’m not saying you should burst into tears all the time either. But if you’re hurt, don’t call it nothing, swallow your pain, and smile so you look normal.

When people hurt you and you seal it up inside you, you just end up hating them. And then you take everything they do, everything they say, everything they are, as a reason to hate them. They become a dragon in your head and everyone similar to them, or friends with them even, is part of their dragon army.

If someone hurts you, you should figure out why it hurt and then bring it to them.

(You: But if I do that I’ll look dumb) Yeah and if you wander around hating them for all your life, you’ll be bitter and sad and you won’t be able to figure out why.

If you need to look dumb in order to resolve your pain, then look dumb. Since when was the opinion of man greater than your own well being?

Never.

(Note: If the person who hurt you laughs at you after you talk to them, you should go get back up and try again. Esp someone who looks big and threatening. Or the quiet dangerous type.)

(… Or pray for them.)

I’m not even saying you should pour out your heart to whoever asks “How are you?” Unless you know this person very well, you are going to scare the crap out of them and they won’t know what to do except stare blankly at you with huge eyes, then slowly mutter “Aw I’m so sorry!” and maybe hug you.

This is discouraging.

But you should always have someone, or a few someones, who you can go to with your hurt. If your best friend truly is your best friend, he/she will stick with you whether you’re smiling or curled up on a couch crying your soul out. (and then you should stick with them too)

And always, always take your pain to God. And your joy. And anything else you feel. Even if it feels like he isn’t responding or doesn’t care, tell yourself he does and don’t stop talking to him. If you make him your best friend, and share your heart with Him, he’ll do the same with you.

And you can laugh at me and call me a retarded little Christian kid with her imaginary God, but I’d rather my “Imaginary God” over some other probably insecure human any day.

If you can be you, and express you, and not let who you are and what you feel be judged by others, then you can truly be strong.

Never get that strength mixed up with hidden tears.

Be strong.

~Silver