Selflessness

It's a new year.

I haven't updated in what, a month? 

And I've been thinking, a lot. 

My brain just threw up. Into Apple Pages.

So

Here.

Read 

(Sorry if it makes no sense. If you comment to say it makes no sense, I'll fix it later...)

The focus of christianity is to focus on God and therefore to focus through that lens on everything else. Once your focus is not on yourself, everything becomes different. But if you focus on not self without God as your main point, then everything else really just becomes a way to escape self. 

It’s practically selfishness in and of itself. 

You have to be looking at something uncreated. Something perfect. Otherwise you’re trying to put together a thousand piece puzzle, knowing only the picture is a massive picture of tons of balloons, without actually having an original picture. And you’re really only doing it for self satisfaction. 

It is not a direct form of selfishness, because it is selflessness. But not in totality. No matter how much you can say otherwise, unless you do something with God as your focus, you are ultimately your own focus. 

You help people because you were broken. It’s because you were broken.

You feed people because you feel bad. 

Sympathy. Your emotions call to you and you respond to your own emotions. It’s not necessarily for self gratification. But it eases that pain you feel in knowing, somehow, that you are imperfect. 

Because without God, that is all you have. Imperfection. Selfishness. You are a mirror, always. What you do is what you are reflecting. It speaks of who you are. 

If you willingly give all of yourself, you probably hate yourself. You don’t see yourself as worth taking care of, so you take care of others. It answers the worthlessness, somehow. It doesn’t matter how. But it helps.

Selflessness somewhat satisfies. 

But only somewhat.

Then you throw God into the mix. 

Because no matter what you’re doing, it’s because you were built to do something in response to love. 

You are always responding to love.

The question you have to ask yourself is, what do you love?

Who do you love?

Who comes first?

The good little christian answer is always God. God comes first. It’s a trained response. We learn it when we’re little. Always put God first.

Is He, really? 

I don’t know. You tell me.

Who do you love? 

~Silver