You are Nothing.......... If you stand alone.

“Guess what?

You are not enough.

Why do you keep trying?

Give up. “

It’s true, what I said last time. (You need to read this post before you can read the one you're at now. It is imperative. Sorry.) [(... I'm not actually sorry. Go read it.)]

Yeah, so maybe the post was a little cruel sounding (You: A little cruel sounding? A Little, cruel sounding? You sick, sadistic human being…) Well, alright. So maybe a little more than a little harsh.

But why dance around it? It’s something we all hear, something we all feel.. Why pretend that isn’t an accusation on your heart?

If no one brings up the cruel things in life, all our problems will never be solved.

That’s my theory, anyways. (You: Well, your theory sucks.) Fine, I’ll write about kittens next time.

But until then, lemme finish up here. Last week’s post was not a meandering stab at your heart. 

We’ve all heard the saying, “The truth will set you free.” And we all know, it’s true. 

But context is everything.

If I were to look a girl in the eyes and say “You are beautiful,” she’d probably smile. It’d hit her heart a little, but not much. However, if a guy did the same thing, she’d probably blush a little and she’d feel it more. She’d believe it a little more. And if the guy she likes did the exact same thing, she’d be on cloud nine. She’d spend the rest of the day living off the emotions from that comment. 

One truth. Three reactions.

Now, take the phrase “You’re beautiful,” and put it into advertising. Stick it on the walls of Victoria’s Secret. Stick it in a shampoo commercial. Suddenly, this truth is a ploy. A lure. A trap of sorts. 

Give the phrase to a rapist (Or, you know, someone friendlier. A player maybe.) Now this truth is deadly.

The truth in and of itself is neutral. It’s how you use it that counts.

Now that we’ve settled that, let’s move on.

“You are not enough.” 

That’s another truth. Do you see where I’m going with this? When we hear this one, we immediately rebel against it. “No! I am enough!” we cry, desperately hoping to ease the pain we feel. 

And that’s exactly the reaction the enemy would want. I don’t talk about spirit stuff much. I mostly just lean towards God. But allow me to introduce you to the dark side, and what the dark side does.

The truth is, you alone are not enough. 

God designed you to work with people, and most importantly to work with him. Companionship. We weren’t made to lean solely upon ourselves. But then the prince of shadows came along and said, “Hmm. If I focus on that truth, I bet you the sad little humans’ll start running from it.” And that’s exactly what has happened. When you take the truth out of the context of leaning on God, suddenly, you feel weak. You feel insignificant. And, you have no reasoning behind it. 

The truth is, you are weak.

The truth is, you are insignificant.

The truth is, you were made to lean on God and you were made to find your significance in Him. 

But we’ve turned from that and we’ve built our own lies. We call them the truth, because they feel safer than the accusations of our hearts. And still, the accusations stand because, well, the accusations are not false.

It all depends on the context. It all depends on what you finish the sentence with. On where it comes from. On who’s saying it. On what meaning you give it.

It's time for a change.

You are not enough… Because you need God.

Why do you keep trying? … Your insistence on leaning upon your brokenness is killing you.

Give up…. And let God take control. 

Let it fall where it may. When you are looking at God, the world around you stops mattering.

You can’t hold it up. It’s not your place.

So.

Stop.

~Silver

You are Nothing.

This may or may not happen more often, but... This post isn't written in a logical, essay like form. It doesn't sound like I'm lecturing you. Actually. It may sound like I'm mocking you. Not sure. Some of it rhymes. Most of it doesn't. 

It leads into something else I want to post about later though, so that's why it's here instead of somewhere else, like my deviant account or my other blog... 

But enough rambling. Without further adieu...

Things get done.

That’s just how it goes.

You have your highs, you have your lows

You deal.

You survive.

It is the strength you have as a human... And it is not enough.

Never enough. 

You are not enough.

A truth. Something that resounds strongly in your head. 

You are not enough.

It hurts, doesn’t it? 

I know, I know it does… You are not enough.

Enough for what?

Enough to live. Enough to survive maybe but you will always break.

Enough for a day, but that’s all it would take. 

There is no way that you can stand,

It's like living on a sinking land.

There is no place for you to thrive.

And as you are, you know you’re not quite alive…

It’s not my problem.

It never was.

It is yours.

You are not enough. 

Pain, 

I know what that one feels like.

Inadequacy. 

Worthlessness…

You are not enough;

It is the truth.

But it is out of context. 

Standing alone, you feel the burden of knowing that the damage you take, and the damage you do, rests fully upon your shoulders.

The weight of the world.

Your world.

You can’t hold it; who the hell do you think you are to even try?

How dare you?

You pitiful creature… 

Is that what you hear?

I have.

Not like that. Not always so much melodrama.

But that is there.

The pain.

The sentiment behind it.

The knowing, deep inside, how little you are…

That feeling when you look up at the clouds and space and think of all the millions of things that surround you and are overtaking your life and suddenly…

Give up.

It is the only answer. 

Why do you even try?

A truth, again. 

You are not enough.

Why do you keep trying.

It is the truths that condemn.

It is the truths that we end up learning to deny.

This is the way it gets 

Twisted in our heads it gets

Changed around, mangled it gets

Turned around so we learn to 

Name the truth a lie and call the lies our foundation we get

Built up on everything that isn’t real.

It’s time for a change.

Guess what?

You are not enough.

Why do you keep trying?

Give up.

Let it fall where it may.

You can’t hold it up.

So.

Stop.

~Silver

Part 2: Clarification.

Since I just totally nailed anyone who cares about anyone in the face with a "YOU ARE WRONG" nail-gun, and slapped them all with self-awareness and called them all selfish....

I want to clarify.

I'm not sure what exactly I want to clarify yet but something needs clarifying and OH THAT WAS IT!

You're not a terrible person.

The last thing I ever want to do is run around labeling people as terrible people. Honestly, when it comes down to it, there is no one person on the face of this planet who is not a terrible person.
(You: Wait, I thought you said you didn't want to label everyone as terrible people)

I don't. I'm not. I'm simply stating a fact.
Very specifically (Which is still very vague, just fyi), No One is more terrible than anyone else.

Because abandoning yourself for others because you think you're worthless is just as retardedly terrible as being full of yourself and totally in love with yourself and thinking that you are, in fact, God.

No matter what you do, if you do it outside of God, it is terrible.

I am a terrible person. Half the time I write here it isn't because of God, it's really because I'm extremely annoyed at everyone I see and know, and extremely annoyed at American culture, and I want to yell at it. Whether or not God speaks through me is a whole other matter.

God can speak through anyone. It doesn't make his mouthpiece Holy or Awesome or Divinely Worthy of Objects and Things. It simply makes his mouthpiece a mouthpiece.

Similarly, someone can be the most useless person in the entire world, and yet totally and completely in love with God. They could spend their entire life doing nothing but working at Walmart. It doesn't make them worthless. Simply useless.

The point of life was not is not and never will be what you do, or how useful you are. The point of your life, individually, is to love God. Once you love God and your main focus is Him and what He wants, once you give yourself totally and completely to something that is unlike you and will never be anything like you, your life is complete.

And at that point? It won't matter where you are. You won't care. God could tell you to go jump off a cliff and you'd do it.
God could tell you to give up the best seat in church and you'd do it.
God could tell you to not quit that one job you hate and you'd do it willingly.
God could tell you to continue what you are doing and being where you are, and you'd be the happiest individual in the world.

You could be Absolutely Nothing of Consequence.... And you couldn't care.

But until you've reached that point, you always will be a terrible person.
Does that mean God doesn't love you?
Absoultely not!
God died for you.
If you never forget or reject that, then you're ten steps ahead of everyone else already!

Because the point isn't how terrible you are.
The point has nothing to do with who you are.

As I said before.

Who do you love?

~Silver

Selflessness

It's a new year.

I haven't updated in what, a month? 

And I've been thinking, a lot. 

My brain just threw up. Into Apple Pages.

So

Here.

Read 

(Sorry if it makes no sense. If you comment to say it makes no sense, I'll fix it later...)

The focus of christianity is to focus on God and therefore to focus through that lens on everything else. Once your focus is not on yourself, everything becomes different. But if you focus on not self without God as your main point, then everything else really just becomes a way to escape self. 

It’s practically selfishness in and of itself. 

You have to be looking at something uncreated. Something perfect. Otherwise you’re trying to put together a thousand piece puzzle, knowing only the picture is a massive picture of tons of balloons, without actually having an original picture. And you’re really only doing it for self satisfaction. 

It is not a direct form of selfishness, because it is selflessness. But not in totality. No matter how much you can say otherwise, unless you do something with God as your focus, you are ultimately your own focus. 

You help people because you were broken. It’s because you were broken.

You feed people because you feel bad. 

Sympathy. Your emotions call to you and you respond to your own emotions. It’s not necessarily for self gratification. But it eases that pain you feel in knowing, somehow, that you are imperfect. 

Because without God, that is all you have. Imperfection. Selfishness. You are a mirror, always. What you do is what you are reflecting. It speaks of who you are. 

If you willingly give all of yourself, you probably hate yourself. You don’t see yourself as worth taking care of, so you take care of others. It answers the worthlessness, somehow. It doesn’t matter how. But it helps.

Selflessness somewhat satisfies. 

But only somewhat.

Then you throw God into the mix. 

Because no matter what you’re doing, it’s because you were built to do something in response to love. 

You are always responding to love.

The question you have to ask yourself is, what do you love?

Who do you love?

Who comes first?

The good little christian answer is always God. God comes first. It’s a trained response. We learn it when we’re little. Always put God first.

Is He, really? 

I don’t know. You tell me.

Who do you love? 

~Silver

The Power Of Prayer

Well. I have a bunch of long posts that I'm refining. So until I can get one of them postable (The question being, Should it be the music post, a love post, or an evangelizing post?) this is a short post. About prayer.

Prayer is important. We all have heard this at least, even if we don't get it. And, most of us don't get it. Why is prayer important? Does God need us to ask Him? Does His mind require changing? I thought He was omnipotent, and all knowing. Doesn't He know things need doing? Doesn't he care enough to help me on His own? 

The easiest example to use probably speaks to guys the best. How long does a relationship last when the girl expects the guy to know all of her needs and desires? Guy gets girl a purple scarf, she's mad cuz her favorite color is blue. But she never told him her favorite color, and most of her clothes are purple, so he guessed and was really excited to find her the scarf.

(You: but God knows everything)

Yes, yes He does. That wouldn't be a relationship, now, would it? That would be rather one sided. You get everything you want or need, and you don't ever talk to Him. Except occasionally to thank Him. 

(You: But.. He's God. He's above all that.)

Above all what? We were made in His image, complete with His emotions. Including sadness. Sorrow. Pain. You thought God was immune to that? No.

God feels pain. 

God feels pain every time you arrogantly expect Him to cater to your every need. 

Every time you turn from Him and try to fix it on your own instead of simply killing your pride and asking Him. 

Every time you get mad at Him for not being there. 

God feels pain when you do. Did you know what? The same way when someone you love is hurt, you want to fix it and help them and you empathize with them... God's like that. 

That doesn't make God more human. Because remember, He came first and made us in His image. Not the other way around. 

We were made to partner with His heart, to ask for things and pray for burdens so that it could be a shared joy.

He doesn't need us. He wants us. 

~Silver

A matter of Perspective.

Our perspective of God: We are chess pieces in a sick and twisted game.

God’s perspective: I’m training an entire world of people. To judge angels.

Our perspective: Hell? That’s just cruelty.

God’s perspective: So, you have two choices. Life with me and life without. But to live with me, you have to love me before you love others, and you have to love others as you love yourself. Sound simple? Great. If you don’t want to do that, and you’d rather hell, then hell it is.

It’s up to you.

Our perspective: Yeah, I accepted Jesus into my heart. God’s pretty far away though. In heaven somewhere.

God’s perspective: Jesus and I are one. I am inside of you. My name is the Holy Spirit.

Our perspective: Why would I say yes to you? You won’t tell me what you’re doing!

God’s perspective: I wish you’d just say yes. You’re dying. I’m trying to save you. And if you’d just listen to me and stop trying to fix everything, you’d know exactly what I’m doing. And, you’d stop dying!

Our perspective: We got kicked out of Eden… For one person’s sin?

God’s perspective: I made mankind, planning to teach them how to love. But they chose to love themselves. They won’t listen if I keep them here in Eden, if I overlook their selfishness. But look, for one person’s death I’ll save all of them. Fair? Thought so too. Glad we agree.

Our perspective: So we just have to repent and be forgiven? Sounds too easy. I bet God stays mad at us for a week. And we have to do penance. And be extra good.

God’s perspective: … I forgave you. Why are you avoiding me? That’s nice that you’re being extra good but… I like talking to you. Why won’t you respond? I thought we were friends?

Our perspective: I have to change. That way I can get closer to God. He won’t see me unless I fix myself.

God’s perspective: So.. Here I am, living inside of you….. Closer to you than I am to the angels… But you’ve locked me in the guest room so you can clean your house. Except you’ve got mud all over your feet and you’re just knocking things over and making it worse. If you’d let me, you know, I’m God… All powerful, all knowing, and I am Love… I could… Help you.. Fix you….

I didn’t make you to change yourself you know. I made you to lean on me. I made it so we’d work together on this.

Our perspective: We have to pray and change God’s mind!!!!

God’s perspective: I love it when you pray, when you agree with my heart. I love that you’re partnering with me on this! This is what I want to do! Thanks for asking! I love you. I love when you agree with me.

Wait, what? Change my mind? …. But.. I don’t… change o.O

Our perspective: I have a guardian angel. He keeps me safe. So God can go do other stuff.

God’s perspective: I feel like I’ve said this before. Oh wait. I have. I’m living in your heart.

Btw I’m omnipresent. I am everywhere. I can do everything at once. Or did you forget?

Our perspective: I’m a terrible person. And I’m ugly And worthless.

God’s perspective: So once upon a time I had this thought. This thought was you. And you were perfect in my head. And then I made you. Know what? You’re even better now! Cuz everything I make is perfect. I make no mistakes. And I don’t make ugly worthless things.

And you especially? You were made in my image.

Our perspective: God loves us, but that’s as far as he cares.

God’s perspective: Love is everything. I love you. I want to give you everything and make you happy and alive and you know what? I enjoy you. And talking to you. I care about you more than anything else I’ve created.

Our perspective: Love is just a feeling.

God’s perspective: Love is everything.

It’s the reason you breath.

It is all I am.

It is the reason for pain, it is the reason for joy.

It is the reason for anger. it is the reason for fear.

Love is the reason for death.

It is the reason you are in this world.

There is nothing that isn’t rooted in love.

We really don’t know the God we worship. And even if we know it so often we don’t

really believe it. There is so much more depth and reality to what we think but we spend so much time being afraid of getting close, believing lies even if we know better.

We are so, so weak. It’s time we wake up to this and let Him fix us.

Amen?

~Silver

What is your music calling you to?

I’ve neglected to take a stand on music. It’s always been a hard subject for me. That’s part of the reason I never finished my purity series. I knew I’d have to write about music and what is good and what is bad, and I didn’t want to have to do that.

Ok, so maybe that was more than part of the reason. That was the reason. (Well, and I’m lazy. But you know.)

So, I apologize for that. Here’s a post on music. This is probably one of the most important things I’ll ever write.

(You: So here’s the part where you say music is bad, yeah?)

Well. Sort of. I’m not going to up and say, all music is bad. I will personally think a lot of music is bad for the heart, but I’d rather let you come to that conclusion yourself. 

Instead, I’m going to simply talk about music.

What do we know about music? We know a lot, right? (You: No. I’m tone deaf.) That’s not what I mean. I mean, what do we know about music as a force in society and how it affects us. (You: Yeah, I’m still drawing a blank)

Well think about it. If you’re depressed what are you going to listen to? Depressing music, right? And if you’re mad you’re probably going to listen to someone else just as angry. It makes you feel better, because you feel like you have power. Classic example being a depressed chick listening to Three Days Grace, and an angry arrogant white kid listening to Eminem.

Yes, I did just stereotype people by their music. Get over it. Stereotypes exist for a reason.

(Actually what I did was stereotype music by who’s listening. But you were gonna be too mad to catch that.)

I hear a lot from Christians that, it’s ok to listen to music as long as it has a good message.

This is one of the most singularly stupid statements I have ever heard. It’s like saying “It’s ok to listen to Hitler as long as you forget the holocaust.”

No. No, no, absolutely not. Music comes from the heart. We listen to music that calls to our hearts. If it matches how we feel, then we listen to it. Thing is, by doing this you’re supporting how you feel. You want to know why, even though life is great and you have a good job and a good family and you’ve never been molested used or abused in your life, you feel like killing yourself? It’s cause you’re busy listening to artists sing about their break ups and the people that have cheated on them. You’re listening to society justify itself, and all its anger, and all its emptiness.

Struggling with porn? Stop listening to Brittney Spears and Ke$ha.

Struggling with anger outbursts? Sick Puppies and Linkin Park are not for you.

Country music is not good for anyone.

The majority of music celebrates the strength of man. And Christian music isn’t counted out. You think Thousand Foot Krutch is good and Christian? I listen to them singing about how broke humanity is and I wonder, why is the focus on how much we Don’t see God?

Shouldn’t our focus be on Seeing God?

Christian music is based on the problems. It’s based on God saving us. It’s based on us being weak.

I don’t want to play your games, cuz lonely was a safer place. But you changed me when you called my name.

That worships God, right?

It’s not based on the places in the Bible where David’s singing about how even in his weakness God is strong. How even as man we can reach God because God loves us. Instead I hear Superchick singing about how we should stand our ground and be pure.

 Ok, so maybe I am a little over the top. But you have No Idea how much my heart burns on this subject.

Now, I’m not straight up condemning TFK and Superchick, or Relient K, or anyone else. I’m just using them as examples. I’m sure that, even if all their songs aren’t really worshipping who God is or calling Christianity to a higher standard of Holiness, their still good people.

That’s the problem though. They don’t call us to a higher level of holiness. It’s music about how God meets us in a place where we are, in our brokenness.

Saying nothing about how we’re falling to our faces out of respect.

It’s simply… So… Lazy. So self-loving.

I can’t stand it any more. I want music that tells me who God is, why I’m worshipping Him, and why I’m falling on my knees in worship. I want music that, instead of saying how it’s ok that I’m broken cuz God will save me, says God is my strength and I can look to Him. That I don’t have to be broken. That I am not of this world.

I want music that, instead of bringing God to this world, rather brings me to His world.

Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

Next week, or sometime next anyways, I’ll post about secular music. And I'll probably read this over and post again so I have something more.. Concise. Better said. Right now I’ll just sit back and watch people comment about my biased, unabashed music bashing. (Cuz those comments are wonderful. They give me something to write about. They let me refine what I say till it has no mistakes. So please do flame this post. Kthxbai)

There really is no way to summarize and end this post.

~ Silver