Yeah. Told you I would.
The post actually had a point to it... We'll see over the next few posts if anyone got it. (This is a test of your observations skills. And your listening skills. Etc.)
But now onto more serious topics. (Well, ok, to me the last post was a very serious topic, all wrapped up in a silly little story...)
Valentine's day is coming up, and you're probably one of three people. You're either excited, because your person is awesome and you just know something awesome is gonna happen, Worried, because you don't know what's going on and you don't know if your person will be happy or not... Or you're like me and you're alone and you feel alone and this day is gonna suck.
(There are two other kinds of people, the kind who's others have died and the kind who are single but are ok with that. My condolences tot he first of those types. My congratulations to the second.)
If you are the first of the five people I just mentioned, awesome. This post isn't necessarily for you.
If you are the second... Stay Here. We need to have a short talk.
If you are the last... I'm sorry. I feel you're pain. It is going to be ok, I promise. Someday, you and I won't have to go through this torture every year. Nobody ends up alone forever, unless they choose to be. I propose we spend the 14th finding all the other single people and giving them chocolate. Sound good? Great. Also, you can stay here too if you wish. This is off-handedly directed at you too.
So over the next few days leading up to V-Day, I'll be posting stuff about relationships. (This is my first ever post here. It's my favorite... Well, ok so a lot of them are my favorite. But anyways. If you haven't read it, you should. You should also pick through and read other things from that year, k? K.)
Today our post will be about insecurity in relationships. (You: Well now That doesn't sound judgmental at all...) You use your discretion. If to you, this post is entirely pointless, don't take offense. Just leave. Or send this to all of your friends. Or whatever.
Anyways. Moving on.
Sooo it's almost Valentine's day. You've done everything you can think of. You got him/her a card, and chocolate, and a teddy bear... You've made plans to go out and eat and see a movie. You know exactly what you're wearing. You know what your hair will do, what your make up will look like... Maybe you've even planned conversation.
Whatever.
You have this entire thing planned out perfectly, nothing is going to go wrong this year, it's going to be awesome and perfect and... And... What if... No.. Well... What if he/she hates it? What if something goes wrong? What if they're not happy?
What if you're not good enough?
(Or maybe you're single, and this is the only thing running through your head, as to why you're single.)
Let me start by saying that if you're afraid of not being good enough, you haven't been reading this blog at all. God made you, remember?
But all that aside...
Why wouldn't you be good enough? He/she is dating you, right? He/she clearly thinks you are the most amazing You there will every be. You've been told you're pretty. Stop worrying.
(Again, or you're single. Thought... Maybe you're last relationship died because you spent too much time convinced you weren't good enough that he/she couldn't love you? If that wasn't it, then clearly he/she wasn't good enough for you and is an idiot who was probably dropped as a child and is insecure therefore cannot keep you or anyone around because they are insecure and, well, stupid.)
Insecurities have no place in this day. Valentine's day should Never be a test of how much you and whoever love each other. The minute it becomes that you need to do one of two things. You need to either have a long talk with your person, Or. You need to take a step back, pray, and get some inner healing for rejection.
Who you are is not based on what your person thinks of you. It is not based on how well this day goes. There is some grace, I suppose, for if this is you and person's first Valentine's day together. If you've only been dating a month then ok, I can understand some insecurities. And I'm not saying you should be totally and completely unconcerned about what he/she thinks at all.
But spending a week worrying about it? Questioning whether he/she will break up with you? You are dooming your relationship to a short life of worry and pain. If you're doubting whether he/she is being honest when they say "I love you," then you really shouldn't even Be Dating.
Don't you know who you are?
Let's play compare for a second.
Once upon a time God wanted a bride for His Son, so He made you.
You.
Not some amazing angelic Thing.
He made YOU.
YOU, who YOU are, is more than good enough for God. It is so much more than good enough for God that His Son Died For You.
He stepped out of heaven, stepped out of glory, out of a place where if he wanted it, He could be eating a cloud sunday while choirs of sheep and dinosaurs sang to him... And then became this itty bitty dust-thing sleeping where farm animals eat. He was the poorest of the poor. A carpenter. Not anything wealthy or important.
You're afraid someone will never truly love you?
You're afraid you're not good enough?
God died for you, in a roundabout way. Jesus left the love of his father so he could take up all Your sins.
So if you're afraid you're not good enough for someone, please first throw it into this perspective.
Of course then we have the evil people who make everyone else feel like they're not good enough.
You've heard this before but please listen to me.
If. Your boyfriend or girlfriend. On a regular basis. Spends time making you feel inferior. Treats you like the dust of the earth. Compares you to people they think are better than you. Compares you to their ex all the time, who they clearly think are better than you. Manipulates you into doing things because that would make you more awesome...
Leave them.
They are insecure, and have made you feel the same so that they can keep you. They are afraid of losing you. They are using who you are and what you do as a basis for who they are and what they do. You are going to be miserable for a very long time if you don't fix it now.
No one has any right at all to define you unless they are defining you as God's. Anything else is a lie.
That's why your relationship with God is supposed to come first. Unless you really have what God says about you at your core, you're going to spend a lot of time being miserable and insecure and unhappy.
if valentine's day is a day of terror for you, you really need to question what's going on in your heart, and go to God with it and settle it.
Also, if you know a single person, make it a point on the 14th to give them a hug and a box of candy, k? :)
Valentine's day is coming up, and you're probably one of three people. You're either excited, because your person is awesome and you just know something awesome is gonna happen, Worried, because you don't know what's going on and you don't know if your person will be happy or not... Or you're like me and you're alone and you feel alone and this day is gonna suck.
(There are two other kinds of people, the kind who's others have died and the kind who are single but are ok with that. My condolences tot he first of those types. My congratulations to the second.)
If you are the first of the five people I just mentioned, awesome. This post isn't necessarily for you.
If you are the second... Stay Here. We need to have a short talk.
If you are the last... I'm sorry. I feel you're pain. It is going to be ok, I promise. Someday, you and I won't have to go through this torture every year. Nobody ends up alone forever, unless they choose to be. I propose we spend the 14th finding all the other single people and giving them chocolate. Sound good? Great. Also, you can stay here too if you wish. This is off-handedly directed at you too.
So over the next few days leading up to V-Day, I'll be posting stuff about relationships. (This is my first ever post here. It's my favorite... Well, ok so a lot of them are my favorite. But anyways. If you haven't read it, you should. You should also pick through and read other things from that year, k? K.)
Today our post will be about insecurity in relationships. (You: Well now That doesn't sound judgmental at all...) You use your discretion. If to you, this post is entirely pointless, don't take offense. Just leave. Or send this to all of your friends. Or whatever.
Anyways. Moving on.
Sooo it's almost Valentine's day. You've done everything you can think of. You got him/her a card, and chocolate, and a teddy bear... You've made plans to go out and eat and see a movie. You know exactly what you're wearing. You know what your hair will do, what your make up will look like... Maybe you've even planned conversation.
Whatever.
You have this entire thing planned out perfectly, nothing is going to go wrong this year, it's going to be awesome and perfect and... And... What if... No.. Well... What if he/she hates it? What if something goes wrong? What if they're not happy?
What if you're not good enough?
(Or maybe you're single, and this is the only thing running through your head, as to why you're single.)
Let me start by saying that if you're afraid of not being good enough, you haven't been reading this blog at all. God made you, remember?
But all that aside...
Why wouldn't you be good enough? He/she is dating you, right? He/she clearly thinks you are the most amazing You there will every be. You've been told you're pretty. Stop worrying.
(Again, or you're single. Thought... Maybe you're last relationship died because you spent too much time convinced you weren't good enough that he/she couldn't love you? If that wasn't it, then clearly he/she wasn't good enough for you and is an idiot who was probably dropped as a child and is insecure therefore cannot keep you or anyone around because they are insecure and, well, stupid.)
Insecurities have no place in this day. Valentine's day should Never be a test of how much you and whoever love each other. The minute it becomes that you need to do one of two things. You need to either have a long talk with your person, Or. You need to take a step back, pray, and get some inner healing for rejection.
Who you are is not based on what your person thinks of you. It is not based on how well this day goes. There is some grace, I suppose, for if this is you and person's first Valentine's day together. If you've only been dating a month then ok, I can understand some insecurities. And I'm not saying you should be totally and completely unconcerned about what he/she thinks at all.
But spending a week worrying about it? Questioning whether he/she will break up with you? You are dooming your relationship to a short life of worry and pain. If you're doubting whether he/she is being honest when they say "I love you," then you really shouldn't even Be Dating.
Don't you know who you are?
Let's play compare for a second.
Once upon a time God wanted a bride for His Son, so He made you.
You.
Not some amazing angelic Thing.
He made YOU.
YOU, who YOU are, is more than good enough for God. It is so much more than good enough for God that His Son Died For You.
He stepped out of heaven, stepped out of glory, out of a place where if he wanted it, He could be eating a cloud sunday while choirs of sheep and dinosaurs sang to him... And then became this itty bitty dust-thing sleeping where farm animals eat. He was the poorest of the poor. A carpenter. Not anything wealthy or important.
You're afraid someone will never truly love you?
You're afraid you're not good enough?
God died for you, in a roundabout way. Jesus left the love of his father so he could take up all Your sins.
So if you're afraid you're not good enough for someone, please first throw it into this perspective.
Of course then we have the evil people who make everyone else feel like they're not good enough.
You've heard this before but please listen to me.
If. Your boyfriend or girlfriend. On a regular basis. Spends time making you feel inferior. Treats you like the dust of the earth. Compares you to people they think are better than you. Compares you to their ex all the time, who they clearly think are better than you. Manipulates you into doing things because that would make you more awesome...
Leave them.
They are insecure, and have made you feel the same so that they can keep you. They are afraid of losing you. They are using who you are and what you do as a basis for who they are and what they do. You are going to be miserable for a very long time if you don't fix it now.
No one has any right at all to define you unless they are defining you as God's. Anything else is a lie.
That's why your relationship with God is supposed to come first. Unless you really have what God says about you at your core, you're going to spend a lot of time being miserable and insecure and unhappy.
if valentine's day is a day of terror for you, you really need to question what's going on in your heart, and go to God with it and settle it.
Also, if you know a single person, make it a point on the 14th to give them a hug and a box of candy, k? :)
~Silver
Do it for the kitten! Yay
ReplyDeleteHmm... I typically don't comment on anything, but if it's for the kittens...
ReplyDeleteWhat you've outlined here isn't limited simply to relationships. I realize that's your emphasis, due to the fast-approaching Valentine's Day, but there's so much more in what you've written. Friends in college, good, Christian men (single, if that's of any import), deal with what you've outlined here; that is, self-worth based upon what others think of you, or how well you did on the last test, or how amazing your worship leading went last week.
"Unless you really have what God says about you at your core, you're going to spend a lot of time being miserable and insecure and unhappy." Such true words...