Where is God?

“Someday, I’ll find God, I’ll see God, and then everything will be ok.”

That sounds right, yes?

No. That is utterly wrong.

Why?

Because God is living inside you.

Freaking inside you, with you, in your heart, not separate and around you. He is a part of you.

Now, that sounds somewhat new age-y I suppose. But where do you think other religions come from? Did people make them up on their own? No. They all stemmed from one source: Jesus.

So back on topic.

A lot of times I hear people say stuff like, God’s arms are open! Run into him! It’s a race and he’s the prize!!

Now, I’m sure this all has its place in context. But out of context, meaning most every time someone says it, I just get this picture of this long, terrifying track to run on and it’s always noon so the sun is glaring at you and since you’re in the middle of the dessert you’re screwed. And at the end of this, someone has told you there is a trophy. So you just have to trust them on that.

And along the way are little water stops. And you’re going to run this race to God, assuming the person was right about the trophy. And sometimes your race crosses paths with other people.

And it’s not really a race so much as it’s a marathon/obstacle course. With like, lava pits and pendulums and spikes and carnivorous starving animals and stuff.

If you see it like this, comment. I want to make sure I’m not the only one.

Now, let me explain why this picture is wrong.

Can you really see yourself doing something like that alone? Hecks no. A lot of people like to try, but they fail and decide it’s cause God is mad at them and wants them to lose. Or that Christianity just… Isn’t right for them and… Maybe someday they’ll try again but… Not now, now they just need to rest in.. whatever…

Yeah like That’s gonna work. Will you come back? Probably not. Probably only if some incredible encounter happens. Which, I’m not totally out ruling. But I think you get what I mean.

You’ve prolly noticed I have yet to correct the picture.

Lets say, instead of running this alone and sometimes seeing people and sometimes getting to stop for water, you’re running with someone. Someone who can give you water when you ask. Someone who can get you over the lava pits and stuff. Now, I’m not saying you won’t get burned and I’m not saying the race will be easy, but you’re probably not going to give up now, are you?

This is how following God is meant to be. Wayy back when risen Christ went back home to intercede before the Father, he left us a gift. Called the Holy Spirit. I call him HS for short.

We all know about the trinity. The three parts of the same person Father… Son… And what’s the last one? The Holy Spirit. HS.

So, if he’s living in you, and he is God, then that means that God, is In, You.

Do you grasp the meaning of this? Yes? No? Maybe?

God, the prize, the little water stops etc, is IN YOUUUU…. He is running WITH YOUUUU.

He is not a distant God. He’s not this person you have to go address all ceremoniously and stuff. He hears your thoughts, not just what you say. So if you’re saying, Oh Lord, of all, who hast created the heavens, come save thy servant from mine enemies, then he hears that, but he also know what your really asking is, OMG There are people saying stuff about me and my life is runiedddd HELPPP.

Fancy language is nothing but cool looking frosting. Your heart is the cake. Which may or may not be stale and crumbly and weird and pasty. That’s between God and you.

And if you’re sitting in your room crying, and then you compose yourself and pray for like, I dunno nightly devotions or something, and you’re all like “Dear Jesus, I love you. Please come heal my cat. Thank you for my friend Elizabeth, and chocolate. Amen” Or whatever, and your heart is still hurt, He Knows That. And he’s listening to your prayer thinking, You’re welcome for Elizabeth, and Chocolate, but… Don’t you want help with your boyfriend? Don’t you need money to fix your car? I want to help with that too. Can I? Just ask me, Please….

You cannot hide your brokenness from God, and he doesn’t want you to try. The strength of the world is nothing to him. Who you are and what you’re feeling is absolutely everything to him.

…. Lemme say that again.

Who you are. And what you’re feeling. Not what you say you’re feeling, But what you’re actually feeling, is Absolutely. Everything. To. God.

You are everything to God.

You.

Are Everything.

To.

God.

Got it? I hope so. If not leave me a comment and I’ll respond and say it a few more times.

So why do you have to find God?

I mean, I know you may have heard that he’s right there, but that means nothing if you haven’t found him yet, right?

Right. Because you’re still trying. Maybe if you do this thing, you’ll figure out where he is. Maybe if you pray harder, or read your bible more, or take notes during church.

Stop trying. Be still and know that He is God.

(How do I be still?)

Idk ask him not me. It’s different for everyone. For me, it means stop thinking about everyone else and how do I help them and stuff like that and just to sit there and talk to him as though he’s with me. Maybe I’m arguing with Him. Maybe I’m not. Either way I’m talking to him.

The dangerous thing with that is learning to distinguish between God and lies. But if you read the Bible enough, you figure out which is which (Just a hint: God will never tell you you’re a terrible person. He will never say you suck, and he will never say he’s disappointed in you. He will always love you. He encourages people to do the right stuff. He doesn’t discourage them into love. Hating someone for something just makes them sad. God doesn’t do that.)

God is In Me. And You. God is With You.  Got it? And he loves you. Yes, life sucks. We don’t belong in the world, but while we’re here we should spent what little time we have talking to God, not trying to find Him. Cause he’s with us always. No exceptions. And he loves us always. No exceptions. You can’t hide your life from something that’s in you and knows you, and you don’t have to because he loves you.

It’s just that simple.

Now, Go talk to God.

~Silver

A truth the world is afraid of.

Strength.

People too often consider strength to be that thing that lets you hide how you feel in times of trouble. The thing that holds back tears when you should be a mess on the floor.

“Oh, she’s so strong. Her parents are getting a divorce but every day she shows up at school and smiles and holds her friends up when they go through rough break ups. I dunno how she does it.” Yeah, that’s real strength there (Sarcasm)

 No, that’s not strength. That’s self denial.

“He never cries. Even when he found out his best friend was in the bus accident and died, he didn’t cry. And not at the funeral either.” (You: That’s a bit extreme) (Yeah well I’m trying to make a point.)

Since when were tears a *bleep*ing weakness?

(You: Oh, ok. So what do You say strength is then, hm?)

Strength is being able to cry, being able to deal with your pain, and not letting it eat you. Strength is letting yourself heal. Strength is not caring if everyone else sees you an emotional mess.

Strength is knowing who you are, knowing what you feel, and dealing with it. Hiding behind humanity’s definition of strength is the definition of weakness.

Strength is knowing you’re falling, not knowing how far you’ll fall, but being ok with it nonetheless.

Falling, yet trying to hold on to whatever you can to keep yourself safe, is Not strength.

I mean really, emotions are pretty dang hard to express sometimes. We all know that. It’s hard to love someone when they’ve wronged you. It’s hard to cry when the rest of the room is laughing. It’s hard to laugh when no one else joins in. We automatically feel judged and hated, like as if the entire world is glaring at you asking “How dare you not feel how we feel?”

Surrendering to that judgment is basically the socially acceptable form of cutting yourself.

You shouldn’t be fitting yourself into that little crib in the back of your head where you’re safe. Do little kids care if someone sees them crying? No. They only start caring when people tell them to grow up, when other kids start teasing them. When their parents tell them to grow a pair and quit being a baby.

If we were meant to be turtles, we’d all come with shells.

And I’m not saying you should burst into tears all the time either. But if you’re hurt, don’t call it nothing, swallow your pain, and smile so you look normal.

When people hurt you and you seal it up inside you, you just end up hating them. And then you take everything they do, everything they say, everything they are, as a reason to hate them. They become a dragon in your head and everyone similar to them, or friends with them even, is part of their dragon army.

If someone hurts you, you should figure out why it hurt and then bring it to them.

(You: But if I do that I’ll look dumb) Yeah and if you wander around hating them for all your life, you’ll be bitter and sad and you won’t be able to figure out why.

If you need to look dumb in order to resolve your pain, then look dumb. Since when was the opinion of man greater than your own well being?

Never.

(Note: If the person who hurt you laughs at you after you talk to them, you should go get back up and try again. Esp someone who looks big and threatening. Or the quiet dangerous type.)

(… Or pray for them.)

I’m not even saying you should pour out your heart to whoever asks “How are you?” Unless you know this person very well, you are going to scare the crap out of them and they won’t know what to do except stare blankly at you with huge eyes, then slowly mutter “Aw I’m so sorry!” and maybe hug you.

This is discouraging.

But you should always have someone, or a few someones, who you can go to with your hurt. If your best friend truly is your best friend, he/she will stick with you whether you’re smiling or curled up on a couch crying your soul out. (and then you should stick with them too)

And always, always take your pain to God. And your joy. And anything else you feel. Even if it feels like he isn’t responding or doesn’t care, tell yourself he does and don’t stop talking to him. If you make him your best friend, and share your heart with Him, he’ll do the same with you.

And you can laugh at me and call me a retarded little Christian kid with her imaginary God, but I’d rather my “Imaginary God” over some other probably insecure human any day.

If you can be you, and express you, and not let who you are and what you feel be judged by others, then you can truly be strong.

Never get that strength mixed up with hidden tears.

Be strong.

~Silver

Who are you?

What is beauty?

…… (You*Blank Stare*: Well now, that’s not an easy question to answer…)

No, not really. But it’s an Important Question. Merely for the sake of keeping this from being a novel on beauty, I’ll limit this to the beauty of man. What is the beauty of man? What’s so important about him?

Now, a lot of people will tell you there’s nothing beautiful about man. That he’s not important.

Those same people will either tell you to save the trees and care about animals feelings and refuse to eat meat cause the poor dead chickens, or they’ll grow up to be lawyers and such just so they can declare what they think to be justice.

Don’t listen to those people.

There is everything beautiful in everything. Now, there are some parts of people that aren’t very pretty, but that is very much so beside the point. Ugly things can be ranted at other times.

What I’m talking about isn’t things people think people are. It’s who people actually are. Who they were the minute they were born, rather than who they became later on in life.

The core of who a person is before they were told how to be pretty, before they were lied to and made weak in an attempt to look strong, before they were pressured to become perfect, is in fact the most beautiful thing ever.

That’s why newborns are awesome. They scream, they cry, they look around at everything so innocently.

They don’t know that in five years, give or take, they’ll be starting a never ending journey to fit in to society.

Innocence embodied. That’s why innocent things are so cute and we like them. Innocence is a factor of beauty.

But that is Not what Beauty is. Not in the least.

Someone (A guy) once said there is nothing more attractive than a woman who is confident in who she is.

The same goes for guys. If a guy knows who he is, or at least can act it flawlessly, he will be the dude with all the girls’ eyes on him. (It’s important to note here, though, that if he’s acting confident for the chicks, then he probably isn’t that confident and just needs help. He’s lonely.)

If you know who you are then nothing can stop you.

But that’s not really hidden knowledge. Every one kind of knows that. So why am I telling you this?

Well, not because I want you to stop reading and go off on some search for your true self. Those searches almost never go well.

I’m actually going to tell you who you are. So keep reading.

You are unique, special. There is no one like you. Maybe to the human eye, yeah. Since man judges on appearance. But who you are, the very core of your being, is unique. So many people spend too much time making themselves unique. If they stepped back for a second they’d realize they were making themselves to be everyone else.

Don’t be a conformist, and don’t be an anti-conformist. In fact, forget the idea of conformism ever existed.

You are something so beautiful that there is someone out there, maybe many someone, who would die for you. Not cause you look pretty or act pretty, but because you Are pretty.

In fact, someone already did die for you, and believe you me he’d do it again if he had to. Not that he has to now. All you really have to do is follow him, love him, and love others no matter what and you’re safe.

Safe in love, isn’t that something?

People spend their entire lives searching for beauty, to make themselves something to be desired. It ruins people, when they want to be something else.

You were Made Perfect. Nothing can change that. Nothing can truly change You.

Even if you’ve spent a lot of time trying to change you, even if you’ve convinced yourself that you’re terrible and a liar and a fake and horrible and no one should ever love you and you’re the exception to everything I’ve just said.

(You don’t understand)

Yes, I do. Believe me when I say I do. Convincing works both ways.

(You can’t change the truth.)

Exactly my point. And if you’ve had to convince yourself that you’re terrible, if you started believing that once upon a time, then obviously you didn’t start out that way, which means you weren’t meant to end that way. Or even exist that way. Which means you can stop believing it. Which means you really should.

Because you are the definition of beauty. God made you like him. And if you are you, if you are who you started out as, then you can’t lose anything.

So who are you, really?

~Silver