This is very serious. very. Very serious.

So I went from no posts to suddenly posting all the time. That's ok though, right? Course it is. You know why? Because I decided it is. 

Now this? This is very serious. This is on my heart…

That instead of rejecting what we don’t understand we would love it. We would learn it. 

But then again, everyone talks about that. And everyone faces rejection. If I said this outright on my facebook, for instance, every gay friend I have would read it and agree. So would every Christian friend. Every atheist friend. 

Everyone. Would agree. But no one really wants this, not in its purest form. What people really just desire is that they themselves, as an individual, would be understood and loved. 

Some would disagree with this, of course. They would say no, it’s not just me, it’s all of my group! And as true as it would be, that is besides the point. By advocating for a specific group to be understood you are looking for people to accept you yourself. That just happens to mean that the group you identify with has to be accepted as well. Because if someone who is like you is rejected, that is the same as you being rejected. 

I’m not saying this is a bad thing. I’m not calling everyone in the world selfish bastards (excuse the term but it fits), merely because it should be blatantly obvious that as a race we are all indeed… Selfish bastards. 

If one insecure teenager kills herself for whatever reason, whatever rejection, where doe the outcry arise from most prominently? Every person who has been that insecure teenager. People who identify with her mistakes and her life and her issues. 

It’s basic math. (Well. Basic geometry anyways.) The substitutive property. If a=b and b=c then a can be used in place of c. If she is like me, then the ones who put her down put me down. 

The basic formula for sympathy. 

Again, I’m not calling this bad. It’s perfectly normal and is, in fact, how we were built to operate. 

(Ok.. So why are you highlighting this? If not to scoff at humanity’s fallacies in operating, why even bring it up?) Have patience and let me get to the point. Remember, like it or not, I believe in God. And Jesus. And in finding our acceptance in Jesus. 

(Ok God I can agree with. Jesus though? Really?) If you judge me for that you can leave. It’s what I believe. I’m not here to start a political religious argument about my beliefs and if you don’t like them deal with it. I don’t answer to your pains and opinions. You won’t be standing for me before the throne of God any more than I will be standing in place of you. Let me answer for myself in that day.

Now, that said. Back to my point. (Right. Jesus. And selfish selfish bastards.)

So glad you remember! 

Why should you let how others’ feel about someone who isn’t you?

And why should you let that define you?

(But.. You just said that’s how we operate.. How we were made to…)

No, stop. Yes I said that. I said there’s nothing wrong with it. And there’s not. It’s the basic formula for sympathy… But what it should very expressively not be is our standard of self. 

See? Or maybe you don’t see, I don’t know. But there’s no easier way to explain this than in books and movies. Don’t hate me for this. But take Twilight for example. (So much hate right now.) Calm down. It’s just an example. Why was Twilight so successful? Because Bella Swan is relatable. Raise your hand if you’re a bit of a klutz, who’s really quiet until people get to know you. If you’re not drop dead gorgeous, but rather pretty average. If you don’t think you’re anything special. If you have issues with either or both of your parents. If you’re frustrated with yourself. If you’re insecure. If you aren’t “that girl” who has the attention of every guy in the room. If you’re a little lonely and just want someone to understand. If you feel misunderstood.

Chances are you match 2 or 3 of those characteristics, at least. And Twilight was popular because every fangirl could relate to Bella, and because Edward was built to meet every need someone who matched Bella had. And we hate hearing that because it makes us cliche but even in that we are cliche. 

So if we can find love and acceptance in a book about someone who is just like us finding love and acceptance… It stands to reason that the opposite is true. 

What’s weird is that this generation hates itself so much that a lot of times, the “bullies” are only trying to hate themselves less by pushing around someone else who reminds them of their own weaknesses. 

So this is what’s on my heart. 

Changing our standards of relation. 

That instead of rejecting what we don’t understand we would love ourselves. We would learn ourselves. 

And that we would look to the One who made us, and realize that when He said creation was perfect He wasn’t talking about just in that instance, but that His words are eternal, and that He knew everything that would be going on in your life. 

It’s the hardest wall to overcome. To break down. Letting God’s standard take priority over our own. After all, acceptance from a God you can’t see is all well and good but people. People arw all around you and it hurts when they don’t love you and you have to deal with them every day and…

Trust me. I hear you. I understand that all too well. It’s one of the most painful things, living in rejection. Walking around knowing no one likes you and living knowing that your good friends only tolerate you. That behind your back they’d really rather have nothing to do with you…

Trust me. I know exactly how it feels. I’m still dealing with the repercussions of all that. But you know what’s the greatest feeling ever?

Looking in the mirror and deciding not to care about anything else but you, and God. 

Walking into a room and deciding it doesn’t matter if everyone is talking behind your back.

Opening your mouth to speak and deciding it doesn’t matter if people are only listening out of obligation. 

Not caring if you have friends because they feel bad for you. 

Deciding that you stand before God, and that you will only care about His opinion of you, and letting that be the standard for your opinion of you. 

There is nothing more freeing and confidence boosting than looking yourself in the eye and saying “Hey you, I like you. God likes you. Let’s just let everyone else deal with themselves and their own insecurities. If people want to hate me for how I make them feel about themselves, that’s cool. I’m going to like me today for how I feel about myself, and for how God feels about myself, and that is the end of the matter.”

I dare you. Do that. Actually stand in front of a mirror and do that. Actually close your eyes and think that. It’s ok to not care about anyone else right now. It’s ok to let you worry about who you are. God didn’t make you according to how your best friend in 8th grade wanted… Heck, God didn’t even make you according to what your own parents wanted. God made you how He wanted to. It’s not your job to concern yourself with other’s petty opinions and selves. 

It’s actually your job… To love yourself.

So be free in who you are. 

I’m not even kidding. Try this. For the next two weeks, decide not to care about what anyone else is thinking about you. For the next two weeks, form an opinion about yourself purely on how you feel about you. Purely on what you like about you. And if you don’t like you, ask yourself why not. 

If you don’t like you, figure out who made you that way. Because chances are you don’t like you because someone else didn’t like you. God made you and He liked you. 

You came into this world loved. You came into this world because you were wanted by someone. 

Spend the next two weeks dwelling on that someone (God, not a significant other. Not a best friend or a brother.) Spend the next two weeks actually deciding to let Him be your standard.

I can’t promise it’ll work in two weeks. It took you your entire life to decide you hate yourself, so if it takes more than two weeks to change your mind don’t get discouraged or give up. But I can promise you. Once you don’t care about what other insecure human people think (And trust me everyone else is just as insecure), you’ll like yourself a heck of a lot more. 

I promise. 

~Silver